Monday, June 8, 2009

Politeness and other absurdities

Picture this : The bunch of us sitting down for a delectable Sunday lunch at Granny's. We came unanounced, and she forces us to eat (ok... if you insist). She whips up a little of this, and a little of that; a classic leftover meal - my favorite. The table is full : alfredo pasta, chicken, taboule, brocoli salad, veggies and dip. We are all hungry, sitting down, and buzy slapping our plates together. Everyone but 11-y.

Granny, being her anxious self, notices the microscopic volume of food that interests the child, and quickly stears into panic overdrive.

Granny : "You don't like couscous? You don't like pastas? You surely can't eat chicken... just like that! Do you want me to prepare a sandwich ?

11-y : "Yes, please"

MHUUUUUNNNN. Wwwwwwrong answer!!!

Granted... a few points for the appropriate placement of "please". But still the wrong answer !


Lesson for the day (uncut version) : When you are being offered something, THINK before you answer. Ask yourself the following : "can my answer cause an inconvenience?". Of watever nature? If the answer is positive, the polite thing to do is to refuse (or accept, depending on the issue) what is being offered in order to avoid said inconvenience. Illustration :


Case study #1
Granny : "The meal is ready. But if you don't like it, I can prepare something else for you."

THINK = Granny has slaved over a hot stove all day. Should I accept her offer, she'd have to start all over again.... Poor Granny.

11-y : "No thank you Granny. What you've cooked smells great." (see Our daily special)


Case study #2

Auntie Judy : "I have some apple juice in the fridge, and orange juice in the basement. What would you like?"

THINK = Auntie Judy is standing by the fridge. As the basement is.... so far away!


13-y : "I'd love some apple juice please."


Case study #3
Mrs Mayer, our charming neighbour : "Good morning boy. How are you today?"

THINK = my mom's been on my case all week about my homework, my dad's driving me nuts with garbage, my brother keep hogging the computer and my sister is harassing me to play My Little Pony with her. I'm having a crappy day!!! But does Mrs. Mayer REALLY want to know that? Wouldn't that make her feel awkward, even a little uncomfortable?

13-y : "Great, thank you Mrs Mayer. How do you do?"

Mrs M : "Very well, very well... What a polite boy you are!"


Case study #4
Uncle Bob : "Look what I brought back from Miami just for you : a nice Florida-shaped keychain. Do you like it?

THINK : Yikes!


Little princess : "Wow, you're so nice Uncle Bob!"


Lesson of the day (short version) : Sounds complicated, but truly, it's quite simple. When you feel like saying yes, say no; and if you want to say no, say yes. Easy enough?


Assorted quote :
Politeness is the most acceptable hypocrisy (Ambrose Bierce).